i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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