you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize