I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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