one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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