Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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