Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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