Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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