Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You may now shotgun with the bride
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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