The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
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That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
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I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
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