i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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