Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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