highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize