Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
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well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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