I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
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I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
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Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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