At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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