I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
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I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
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You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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