Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I wear drunk well.
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