Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
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My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Less talking, more tequila
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
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Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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