3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
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