I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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