Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize