He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize