So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize