imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize