I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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