I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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