I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
4 words: hood of his car
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Well I just put wine in my tea
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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