STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize