3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize