I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize