HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize