I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize