it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
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Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
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I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We're too hungover to prance.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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