I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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