Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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