I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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