You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
ok first of all what the fuck
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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