I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize