Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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