I want to stick my p in your. b.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
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i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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