I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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