I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize