My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize