Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
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Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
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Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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