you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize