Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize