Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize