She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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