When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i will never coherently bang her
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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