So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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